Bertha, or Becky, or…the poor girl that came to the big family reunion with Cousin Milton, is now conscious and sitting in lawn chair in the shade–it’s good to stay out of direct light when your concussed. Cousin Milton is holding an icepack to her head and looking entirely pissed off.
“Cousin Milton looks entirely pissed off,” Cousin Bucky says.
“And Cousin Milton is pretty easy going,” Cousin Peggy adds.
“The spot where her head hit the tree–the bark is peeled off,” Cousin Bucky states in astonishment.
“That’s not good for the tree,” your cousin Erikka says in a voice dripping with disdain.
“That can’t possibly be good for her head,” Cousin Peggy yaps at Cousin Erikka.
Cousin Erikka glares at Cousin Peggy as she moves to another spot under the pavilion.
“I wouldn’t worry about it,” Uncle Gabe bellows as he joins the conservation, “it’s just a concussion…maybe a little brain damage.”
“You don’t think a little brain damage is something to be worried about?” Cousin Peggy asks.
“Not in this family,” you tell her, “it’s almost a requirement.”
“I’ve taken worse hits than that,” Uncle Gabe says with a dismissive wave. “And look at me–I’m fine.”
“There seems to be a bit wiggle room between your definition of fine and my definition fine,” Cousin Bucky tells Uncle Gabe.
“People only use 10 percent of their brains anyway,” Uncle Gabe assures Cousin Bucky.
“Do you think you’re using that much of your brain…is that what really think?” You ask Uncle Gabe.
“I’m just saying a little brain damage isn’t a big deal,” Uncle Gabe reasserts.
“Spoken like a person with brain damage,” Cousin Peggy says.
“You see Uncle Gabe,” Cousin Bucky tries to explain, “your talking about someone having brain damage is kind of a pot and kettle situation.”
“I don’t understand what that means.”
“Here they come,” cousin Peggy alerts everyone.
Cousin Milton is helping Bertha, or Becky, or whatever her name is, to the pavilion.
“She’s stumbling like a drunk person,” Cousin Bucky points out.
“Well, functional alcoholism is the next stage when joining this family,” you comment.
“Cousin Milton looks entirely pissed off,” Cousin Peggy reiterates.
That poor Girl.